A Reader’s Question:
What’s good Dedan?
I have a question about a
situation that I’m currently in. I’
ve been seeing this girl for a
month now and we’re really
feeling each other. We always
have good conversations on the
phone and we’ve gone to the
movies, out to eat, walked in the
park etc.
Everything was cool until the
other night when things got a
little out of control. We were
watching a movie and one thing
lead to another. The next thing I
knew both of our clothes were
off. We’ve come close to having
sex before but nothing like this.
Since it seemed like it was
about to go down, I went for the
condom that was in my wallet.
Even though she was looking
right at me, she asked me what
I was doing. At first I smiled,
and then just ignored her. We
went back to kissing and I put
on the condom. I tried to put it in
but she stopped me and told
me not to put it in. I was a little
frustrated but I respected her
wishes and backed off. I start to
get up but she pulled me back
down on top of her. To make a
long story short, after a few
more minutes of kissing and
touching, I tried to put it in again
and this time she let me.
We’re doing it and all of a
sudden, she starts trippin and
tells me to get off her. She
starts crying saying that I raped
her and that she told me to
stop. She threatened to call the
police and tells me to leave. I
got my stuff and left. My
question to you is based on my
version of the story... was I
wrong for my actions? In your
opinion, did I rape her or was
she just playing games?
My Advice:
You really need to be careful in
situations were sex is involved.
Your friend could have easily
pressed charges against you
and there would have been
nothing you could have done
about it. The thing about rape is
that its her word against your’s
and jury’s usually tend to
believe the woman.
In your defense, many women
play games where they say no
when they really mean yes. For
some reason, women think that
its cute or sexy to tease men
with sex, so when the time
comes when they really mean
no, many men don’t take them
seriously.
My advice to you would be
to always play it safe when a
woman says no. Just stop
whatever it is that you’re doing
and remove yourself from the
situation. Rape is a serious
charge and no woman is worth
losing your freedom over.
Anyone who reads my column
on a regular basis knows that I
keep it real and call it like I see
it, whether the man or the
woman is right. In your
situation, I don’t see you as
being wrong. Your girl sat there
and watched you go into your
wallet to get the condom and
then put it on. If she wasn’t cool
with what was about to go
down, that would’ve been the
time to tell you to stop. Instead,
she waited until you were
actually inside of her to say no.
A good rule of thumb for all
relationships is to have good
communication with each other.
When dating someone, you
need to be fully aware of their
views regarding sex. Some
women make it known that they
want to wait until marriage to be
intimate. Other women say they
have to be in a committed
relationship. And then there are
the women who let you know
that its going down right after
you get home from Fridays on
the first date.
Normally, if a woman is willing
to sleep with you, she makes it
known in one form or another.
But in the event that she doesn’t
make her intentions clear, you
need to realize that no always
means no. Never assume that
her no means yes or maybe. A
split second could change your
life forever. Just ask Mike Tyson.
Hopefully, I’ve shed some light
on this subject for you.
DedanTolbert
Tolbert_Books@hotmail.com
What’s good Dedan?
I have a question about a
situation that I’m currently in. I’
ve been seeing this girl for a
month now and we’re really
feeling each other. We always
have good conversations on the
phone and we’ve gone to the
movies, out to eat, walked in the
park etc.
Everything was cool until the
other night when things got a
little out of control. We were
watching a movie and one thing
lead to another. The next thing I
knew both of our clothes were
off. We’ve come close to having
sex before but nothing like this.
Since it seemed like it was
about to go down, I went for the
condom that was in my wallet.
Even though she was looking
right at me, she asked me what
I was doing. At first I smiled,
and then just ignored her. We
went back to kissing and I put
on the condom. I tried to put it in
but she stopped me and told
me not to put it in. I was a little
frustrated but I respected her
wishes and backed off. I start to
get up but she pulled me back
down on top of her. To make a
long story short, after a few
more minutes of kissing and
touching, I tried to put it in again
and this time she let me.
We’re doing it and all of a
sudden, she starts trippin and
tells me to get off her. She
starts crying saying that I raped
her and that she told me to
stop. She threatened to call the
police and tells me to leave. I
got my stuff and left. My
question to you is based on my
version of the story... was I
wrong for my actions? In your
opinion, did I rape her or was
she just playing games?
My Advice:
You really need to be careful in
situations were sex is involved.
Your friend could have easily
pressed charges against you
and there would have been
nothing you could have done
about it. The thing about rape is
that its her word against your’s
and jury’s usually tend to
believe the woman.
In your defense, many women
play games where they say no
when they really mean yes. For
some reason, women think that
its cute or sexy to tease men
with sex, so when the time
comes when they really mean
no, many men don’t take them
seriously.
My advice to you would be
to always play it safe when a
woman says no. Just stop
whatever it is that you’re doing
and remove yourself from the
situation. Rape is a serious
charge and no woman is worth
losing your freedom over.
Anyone who reads my column
on a regular basis knows that I
keep it real and call it like I see
it, whether the man or the
woman is right. In your
situation, I don’t see you as
being wrong. Your girl sat there
and watched you go into your
wallet to get the condom and
then put it on. If she wasn’t cool
with what was about to go
down, that would’ve been the
time to tell you to stop. Instead,
she waited until you were
actually inside of her to say no.
A good rule of thumb for all
relationships is to have good
communication with each other.
When dating someone, you
need to be fully aware of their
views regarding sex. Some
women make it known that they
want to wait until marriage to be
intimate. Other women say they
have to be in a committed
relationship. And then there are
the women who let you know
that its going down right after
you get home from Fridays on
the first date.
Normally, if a woman is willing
to sleep with you, she makes it
known in one form or another.
But in the event that she doesn’t
make her intentions clear, you
need to realize that no always
means no. Never assume that
her no means yes or maybe. A
split second could change your
life forever. Just ask Mike Tyson.
Hopefully, I’ve shed some light
on this subject for you.
DedanTolbert
Tolbert_Books@hotmail.com
| BBE The Bad, Beautiful, Elite |
THE MEN'S MAGAZINE
EDITOR'S LETTER
NEW ISSUE #6
BBE IS A BI -MONTHLY PUBLICATION
 | |  | |  | |  | |  |
Wholesale orders available for retailers. See Subscriptions page.
Many Thanks,
ANT BANKS
EDITOR IN CHIEF
BBE MAGAZINE
ANT BANKS
EDITOR IN CHIEF
BBE MAGAZINE
FAN MAIL...
"Ask Dedan" Advice Column
NO REALLY MEANS NO...
By. Dedan Tolbert
NO REALLY MEANS NO...
By. Dedan Tolbert
The Bad, Beautiful and Elite.
I would love to be featured
in your magazine. ANT you and
the staff are setting a new
standard. I like it.
Tiffany, New Orleans, LA
This is by far one of the
Best layouts I have seen in a
Mens magazine. When are you
bringing Kyphi back?
Wayne, Los Angeles CA
I like the variety of women
You guys feature. They are all
Beautiful and were all good
Picks for BBE.
Marcus, St. Louis MO.
Hello ANT it was nice meeting
you and the staff in Miami during
your BBE casting. You guys were
very impressive. Can't wait to
work with you.
Dana, Miami, FL
Wusup BBE! You guys need to
come to Houston Baby. We have
so many ladies that are qualified
for BBE. It will give you high blood
pressure.
Devin, Houston, TX
I would love to be featured
in your magazine. ANT you and
the staff are setting a new
standard. I like it.
Tiffany, New Orleans, LA
This is by far one of the
Best layouts I have seen in a
Mens magazine. When are you
bringing Kyphi back?
Wayne, Los Angeles CA
I like the variety of women
You guys feature. They are all
Beautiful and were all good
Picks for BBE.
Marcus, St. Louis MO.
Hello ANT it was nice meeting
you and the staff in Miami during
your BBE casting. You guys were
very impressive. Can't wait to
work with you.
Dana, Miami, FL
Wusup BBE! You guys need to
come to Houston Baby. We have
so many ladies that are qualified
for BBE. It will give you high blood
pressure.
Devin, Houston, TX
Hello again my dear friends. Once again I
would like to thank you for the continued
support you have been showing to BBE
Magazine. In this 6th issue we have several
interesting editorials dealing with sports,
music,sex and of course Erotic Writer returns
with her second hot story called A Day Well
Spent. This is our first issue of 2008. On the
Cover we have Cristal Steverson aka
“Serious” Whom you may have seen on Vh1’
s hit series Flavor of Love as well as Charm
School. We promise this is one of her sexiest
layouts ever and she is excited to meet the
BBE readers. So as you continue on I’m sure
you will be glad to meet Rachel, Desica,
Sarah B, Beautee, Tinyqa, Bella Lane, Bianca
and Serious. Each gorgeous lady gives you
an in debt interview about themselves and
their career. This is a chance for you to get to
know a little about the BBE Models and why
we chose them for this issue.
We would also like to welcome
photographers Mykeon, Danial, Phillip
Placko, Lisa Brewer, Michael Cercone and
David Hill. MUA’s Nadia Tellis, Zack Pickett
and Editors Dedan Tolbert and Hip Hop
Junkie to the BBE Franchise.
Thanks again for your support and
remember to tell a friend about the newest
mens magazine BBE. The Bad, Beautiful,
Elite.
would like to thank you for the continued
support you have been showing to BBE
Magazine. In this 6th issue we have several
interesting editorials dealing with sports,
music,sex and of course Erotic Writer returns
with her second hot story called A Day Well
Spent. This is our first issue of 2008. On the
Cover we have Cristal Steverson aka
“Serious” Whom you may have seen on Vh1’
s hit series Flavor of Love as well as Charm
School. We promise this is one of her sexiest
layouts ever and she is excited to meet the
BBE readers. So as you continue on I’m sure
you will be glad to meet Rachel, Desica,
Sarah B, Beautee, Tinyqa, Bella Lane, Bianca
and Serious. Each gorgeous lady gives you
an in debt interview about themselves and
their career. This is a chance for you to get to
know a little about the BBE Models and why
we chose them for this issue.
We would also like to welcome
photographers Mykeon, Danial, Phillip
Placko, Lisa Brewer, Michael Cercone and
David Hill. MUA’s Nadia Tellis, Zack Pickett
and Editors Dedan Tolbert and Hip Hop
Junkie to the BBE Franchise.
Thanks again for your support and
remember to tell a friend about the newest
mens magazine BBE. The Bad, Beautiful,
Elite.
CHARLOTTE'S DRINK OF
THE MONTH.....
THE MONTH.....
Hello Rachel how is your day going? Hello
BBE…. My day is wonderful so far. Thank you for
having me come through and be a part of your
world!
What’s and ordinary day like for you? An ordinary
day for me is hard to come by… LOL…. If I am at
home in NC, I spend my days working in my
father’s office helping to manage his real estate
business. When I am not in the office, I tend to
spend as much time with my animals as
possible. The farm I was raised on is still owned
by my family so I am blessed to be able to be
around my animals often. I have horses,
chickens, goats and dogs all of which I am in
love with! I fit in a workout or a run during the
day, but I don’t have a set time I am at the gym
daily. I come from a big family and am the
oldest of 6 so, needless to say, I am a big “family
person”! . I also live in CA part of the year with
my husband who plays for the Oakland Raiders.
How long have you been in the modeling
business? I have been modeling, consistently,
since late 2005. I really enjoy being in front of
the camera and creating an image. Since I am
a “tomboy” at heart, it is fun to turn up the heat
alittle bit and feel sexy during a shoot.
What’s the worst part of this modeling business in
your opinion? Honestly, the worst part of
modeling, weirdly enough, is becoming overly
critical of yourself when looking at your pictures.
At first having a lot of images to go through is fun
and exciting, but as time goes on and you shoot
more, I have found that my imperfections stand
out to me. I was actually having this
conversation the other day… I enjoy modeling as
more of a hobby because I am genuinely a very
happy and content person. Growing up with an
interracial background (Black, White and
Cherokee Indian), you learn rather quickly that
you can’t please everyone. I have transferred this
into my everyday life as an adult as well. I
realize I am very blessed and am thankful for who
I am and what positive qualities I posses. I am a
very athletic person and therefore am always
going to be abit more muscular or thick then
some girls… So instead of critiquing what I see
my flaws to be, I just try to make them better and
embrace them! The funny thing is…. What you
don’t like in yourself could end up being the very
thing that someone else loves about you!
When you are in the kitchen cooking dinner,
which dish would you say you cook most? I don’t
eat red meat at all, so I tend to cook a lot of
chicken, fish and vegetables. I am constantly
trying to watch my figure, so I try to eat more
protein and less carbs and sugar (this doesn’t
always work though… LOL). The problem is, I
grew up in the South and the dishes I enjoy
cooking are the very things I should avoid
eating… LOL.. When I am cooking for myself, I
enjoy more simple foods such as baked chicken
and broccoli, but when I cook for others, some of
the foods I enjoy cooking are homemade
macaroni and cheese, yams, scallops and
shrimp, mashed potatoes and my Dad’s personal
fav.. Gourmet collards that I get from my
neighbors farm across the street. LOL…
What advice would you give to the aspiring
models coming up? I seem to get asked for
advice a lot from aspiring models. I think the
main thing I try to tell them is to make sure they
really think about what direction they want the
modeling business to take them in. This is a
cutthroat business and it is very hard to filter out
the Bs sometimes. So, if you know exactly what
it is you are looking to gain, personally, it makes
it easier to say no to the projects that will not
benefit you and your goals. So being very honest
with yourself will take you a long way! Another
thing I always tell them is that beauty is not just
on the outside, but the inside as well. Everyone
is beautiful in their own way. You don’t have to
be a model for that to be recognized. I cannot
tell you how many shoots I have been on where I
have had to work with models with poor attitudes
or who think their beauty should carry them
wherever they want to go. What a turnoff!!!!
Being beautiful is not just about what you look
like; it is about who you are. Besides, beauty
fades and can be taken away from you at any
given moment! So, if you don’t have anything
inside to back that up, then it will be very difficult
to succeed in modeling or life in general. Not to
mention, people will run from you, not to you….
Once the camera snaps that shot, you become
an image. It is as simple as that. So keeping a
level head is the most important thing to
remember, but I really feel that should relate to
anyone in any business.
Describe your perfect evening? I am more of a
“home body”, so I really enjoy the comforts of my
own home. If I do go out, I prefer to go
somewhere that I can enjoy the company of the
people I am with. I have a weakness for sushi
and sake, so going to a great sushi spot with my
friends or family is always something I am up for!
If I do go out to a club, I prefer going somewhere
that has more of a “lounge” feel to it. Live music
is always a nice touch…
BBE stands for The Bad, The Beautiful and The
Elite. Which are you and why? Wow… I have to
pick one?? JK.. I think that there are qualities in
me that could apply to all three, which I hope is
why you guys chose to feature me in your mag..
LOL… I guess I would have to say that I would
fall more under the “Bad” category… mainly
because I am not your typical girl! I love sports
and you are more likely to find me on a sportbike
then at the mall. I prefer sports, both playing and
watching, to shopping or getting my nails done.
Don’t get it twisted though.. I do the “girly” things
too, but more because I have to, not because I
enjoy it! There are definitely many different
sides to me, which is what I think makes me a
god fit for BBE as well as what you guys stand
for!!!! I’ll leave this question for the readers to
decide… ;)
Thank you BBE for the opportunity to chat with
you and showcase some of my work as well. I am
honored to be a part of your world!!!
Thank you so much Rachel for this interview.
May you have continued success with your
career.
BBE…. My day is wonderful so far. Thank you for
having me come through and be a part of your
world!
What’s and ordinary day like for you? An ordinary
day for me is hard to come by… LOL…. If I am at
home in NC, I spend my days working in my
father’s office helping to manage his real estate
business. When I am not in the office, I tend to
spend as much time with my animals as
possible. The farm I was raised on is still owned
by my family so I am blessed to be able to be
around my animals often. I have horses,
chickens, goats and dogs all of which I am in
love with! I fit in a workout or a run during the
day, but I don’t have a set time I am at the gym
daily. I come from a big family and am the
oldest of 6 so, needless to say, I am a big “family
person”! . I also live in CA part of the year with
my husband who plays for the Oakland Raiders.
How long have you been in the modeling
business? I have been modeling, consistently,
since late 2005. I really enjoy being in front of
the camera and creating an image. Since I am
a “tomboy” at heart, it is fun to turn up the heat
alittle bit and feel sexy during a shoot.
What’s the worst part of this modeling business in
your opinion? Honestly, the worst part of
modeling, weirdly enough, is becoming overly
critical of yourself when looking at your pictures.
At first having a lot of images to go through is fun
and exciting, but as time goes on and you shoot
more, I have found that my imperfections stand
out to me. I was actually having this
conversation the other day… I enjoy modeling as
more of a hobby because I am genuinely a very
happy and content person. Growing up with an
interracial background (Black, White and
Cherokee Indian), you learn rather quickly that
you can’t please everyone. I have transferred this
into my everyday life as an adult as well. I
realize I am very blessed and am thankful for who
I am and what positive qualities I posses. I am a
very athletic person and therefore am always
going to be abit more muscular or thick then
some girls… So instead of critiquing what I see
my flaws to be, I just try to make them better and
embrace them! The funny thing is…. What you
don’t like in yourself could end up being the very
thing that someone else loves about you!
When you are in the kitchen cooking dinner,
which dish would you say you cook most? I don’t
eat red meat at all, so I tend to cook a lot of
chicken, fish and vegetables. I am constantly
trying to watch my figure, so I try to eat more
protein and less carbs and sugar (this doesn’t
always work though… LOL). The problem is, I
grew up in the South and the dishes I enjoy
cooking are the very things I should avoid
eating… LOL.. When I am cooking for myself, I
enjoy more simple foods such as baked chicken
and broccoli, but when I cook for others, some of
the foods I enjoy cooking are homemade
macaroni and cheese, yams, scallops and
shrimp, mashed potatoes and my Dad’s personal
fav.. Gourmet collards that I get from my
neighbors farm across the street. LOL…
What advice would you give to the aspiring
models coming up? I seem to get asked for
advice a lot from aspiring models. I think the
main thing I try to tell them is to make sure they
really think about what direction they want the
modeling business to take them in. This is a
cutthroat business and it is very hard to filter out
the Bs sometimes. So, if you know exactly what
it is you are looking to gain, personally, it makes
it easier to say no to the projects that will not
benefit you and your goals. So being very honest
with yourself will take you a long way! Another
thing I always tell them is that beauty is not just
on the outside, but the inside as well. Everyone
is beautiful in their own way. You don’t have to
be a model for that to be recognized. I cannot
tell you how many shoots I have been on where I
have had to work with models with poor attitudes
or who think their beauty should carry them
wherever they want to go. What a turnoff!!!!
Being beautiful is not just about what you look
like; it is about who you are. Besides, beauty
fades and can be taken away from you at any
given moment! So, if you don’t have anything
inside to back that up, then it will be very difficult
to succeed in modeling or life in general. Not to
mention, people will run from you, not to you….
Once the camera snaps that shot, you become
an image. It is as simple as that. So keeping a
level head is the most important thing to
remember, but I really feel that should relate to
anyone in any business.
Describe your perfect evening? I am more of a
“home body”, so I really enjoy the comforts of my
own home. If I do go out, I prefer to go
somewhere that I can enjoy the company of the
people I am with. I have a weakness for sushi
and sake, so going to a great sushi spot with my
friends or family is always something I am up for!
If I do go out to a club, I prefer going somewhere
that has more of a “lounge” feel to it. Live music
is always a nice touch…
BBE stands for The Bad, The Beautiful and The
Elite. Which are you and why? Wow… I have to
pick one?? JK.. I think that there are qualities in
me that could apply to all three, which I hope is
why you guys chose to feature me in your mag..
LOL… I guess I would have to say that I would
fall more under the “Bad” category… mainly
because I am not your typical girl! I love sports
and you are more likely to find me on a sportbike
then at the mall. I prefer sports, both playing and
watching, to shopping or getting my nails done.
Don’t get it twisted though.. I do the “girly” things
too, but more because I have to, not because I
enjoy it! There are definitely many different
sides to me, which is what I think makes me a
god fit for BBE as well as what you guys stand
for!!!! I’ll leave this question for the readers to
decide… ;)
Thank you BBE for the opportunity to chat with
you and showcase some of my work as well. I am
honored to be a part of your world!!!
Thank you so much Rachel for this interview.
May you have continued success with your
career.
Rachel Whitted Interview
Skip & Go Naked
Ingredients
½ oz. of Light Rum
½ oz. Vodka
½ oz. Brandy
Sour Mix
Splash of Orange Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Ingredients
½ oz. of Light Rum
½ oz. Vodka
½ oz. Brandy
Sour Mix
Splash of Orange Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Click pic to visit Miamiparties.com
| Casting Call in Charlotte N.C 12-6pm 5-31-08 send name and pics to NC@BBE-Mag.com to register. Not open to public! |